Snape's Night Off, the second part
by amicusheeding
Summary: Snape continues to try to save his night off.


The inside of the mansion was horrifying. It was all nothing but big, open dance floor with polished oak floors and hanging black lights. Furniture in bright, irritating colors lined the far-off walls, and inconsiderate couples were lounging on them, lollygagging on each other. That is, all the couples who weren't dancing. A vast majority of them were dancing. It was a jagged, jerking, thrashing dance that was exhausting to watch and worse to imagine doing. The walls were a sickly, pinkish pink and so was the lush carpet that circled the vast, wooden dance floor. Right in the middle of the dance floor was a huge fountain that was real silver with grotesque carvings of people dying disturbing deaths etched in it. The fountain of course spurted out blood, and several of the dancers were splashing about in it. Beyond the fountain and the dance floor was a short set of stairs that was also blanketed in the ugly carpet. Sitting at the top of the stairs was an extravagant thrown. Sitting on top the thrown was the deplorable Zef Zefner himself.

Snape cringed at the sight of him as he was forced uncomfortably near to him, but he had ceased all resistance as it was obviously futile.

"Zef!" The airhead blonde cried in sickening excitement. "I found you a new friend!"

Zef, who had been stroking another girl's hair, looked up and grinned showing his especially big, fat fangs. "So you do," he started sitting up straighter. He nodded at Snape, "Come to join our party?"

The girl finally let go of him, still smiling away at nothing. Being free from her imprisonment, Snape defiantly clenched his fists and dug his heels into the sinking carpet. "I have no wish to join in this travesty." He stated furiously. "And furthermore, I am against all of your ridiculous parties and everything that you stand for!"

Zef raised his eyebrows and rested his chin in his hand. "Oh?" he said in some surprise.

"Yes, and I refuse to stand for residing in this _dwelling _for another moment. Now, if you will kindly dull that ridiculous noise, I will leave peacefully."

The girl who dragged him there and the girl that had been leaning on Zef both looked a bit taken back. "Zefy," the second girl half whined, "I don't think he's all that nice."

"Hm," said Zef stroking his chin, "I think you're right Cheetah. But he is rather cute."

"Yeah!" Both girls exclaimed nodding and grinning big as Snape slumped and grimaced.

"So why don't we put it to a vote? Shall we do as he asks, or leave our entertainment at its usual volume." Zef mused.

"I can't believe this!" Snape exclaimed. "What vote? What's the point? All I want is for you to kill that senseless music!"

Zef squinted his eyes at him and smiled as if he were looking fondly at a small child. "Yes, but we don't want to. We like it loud, very loud. But since it bothers you that much, we could put it to a vote just for you."

"But you're in charge!" Shouted Snape in disbelief, "Just turn the bloody thing down!"

"That's what I'll see if I can do." And with that, he rose from his thrown and put an arm up feebly in the air. Immediate silence. All music stopped, all dancing stopped, even the blood fountain stopped. All the inhabitants gave him their full attention at once.

"All my little pups, listen up!" Zef announced grandly. "We have a request!"

Immediate and uncalled for excitement.

"What is it Zef?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Tell us!"  
"This bloke here has humbly asked us to turn our music down," a hush fell over the

crowd, "And not very nicely either." The crown set to muttering to each other after this interjection. "And so," Zef continued, "We shall vote, shall we turn down our sacred song, or completely ignore this rude but hansom man's request?"

At this, a slower version of the song began to sound out through the room, but it was only the music and no words. Everyone on the dance floor began to dance slowly in a big circle with their hands up to their cheeks so they would look like they were deep in thought. Snape shook his head in deep disgust and turned to Zef. He intended to say something along the lines of: "Is this really necessary, because it's one of the most asinine things that I have ever been sorry to see," but before he could, Zef put a hand out in front of him dramatically. Snape wrinkled his crooked nose and turned away. He didn't feel that such foolish gestures even gained dignity to watch.

Finally, after a good three minutes, the vampires all stopped their useless circle. The music stopped again, and Zef sat straight up, nodding once. "Yes?" he asked grandly. "We've reached our decision." One guy called.

"And what was it?" Zef asked in his revoltingly kind, mushy voice.

"The volume will remain at its usual height. That is all."

"Very well then," Zef accepted as Snape's mouth fell open. "Please, carry on!"

At that the music raged on. Snape refused to say a thing more. Instead, he stormed through the dance floor, making sure to shove as many vampires out of the way as possible, and went out into the night. "Good bye!" The guy who let him in called ignorantly.

Snape threw a hand up in the air absentmindedly as he passed him. Making his way out into the yard, he saw another unfortunate sight unfolding. It was another vampire with discouragingly perfect hair and impossibly good featured face. Snape knew this vampire. Everyone did. It was the pesky Edward Cullen, who had made a name for himself on the muggle entertainment spectrum. He saw that Edward was sucking the blood out of some girl. A muggle girl by the look of it. Snape was bored and in a waspish mood. He hated Edward with an unrelenting passion, so he decided he would pester him. He walked lazily over to the scene.

Upon closer inspection, he could see that the girl was dying rapidly. "You're killing her," he stated without emotion.

Edward paused, stiffened, and reered his head up out of there, giving Snape a death-by-glare look complete with blood trickling down from his lips. He let the girl fall to the grass with a barely audible gasp of "Oh Edward!" before her frail, weakened body planted itself against the damp grass.

"She seems half dead already." Snape continued, happy to have made him angry at least.

"_Fang you!_" He spat, blood saturated teeth in-tact as he sprayed blood filled spit all over Snape's front while he enlightened him with his vampire swear word.

Snape took a step back, only so Edward could see more of him, and smiled wide and obnoxious. "I suppose the temptation got to be too much? Honestly, I don't see why you should want the company of a muggle in the first place."

"You don't know her!" Edward declared with passion and certainty.

"I'm sure it would make no difference if I did," Snape retorted.

At that moment, an especially big and almost unfortunate looking vampire strolled up. He wore an earpiece. "Hey Edward," he said in an overly masculine voice, "Is this joker bothering you?"

"Yes, he is," said Edward smugly. "He says he can't understand vampire lust."

"That isn't what I was implying in the least!"

"Ignore him. He's rude, savage, and therefore dense. What he means, Elberto, is that he would like to experience what it's like to be a vampire first hand."

"Oh, I see," Elberto accommodated.

"Yes, so perhaps that wish ought to be realized for him once and for all, wouldn't you agree?" Edward asked.

"Sure, whatever you say boss." Elberto accommodated.

"You'll bite him won't you? I'm sure he's much more to your taste."


End file.
